OUR TWO CATS

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By K. Von DeWitt
All modern physicists love cats. We have two presently. Munoc is also an orange tabby; irascible, witty, and cute-as-a-button on his back. His winks obviate more than I know. For Louie - my original tabby cat - is now his brother.
Once upon a time Louie was a very lonely cat, he was even lonelier than I.
It was Grammy B, who scolded me. My landlord insisted that keeping just one cat in an apartment was wrong. Grammy said: “If the howling does not stop I will evict you.”
When I left for the lab nightly, Louie would sit by the door and wail like a phantom. Loud he was; loud enough to wake the dead. Upon my return, I always found curious cat by the door: bawling; crying. Often Louie was sitting atop castigating notes which had been slipped under my door, stating: Louie kept us awake again!
How were my neighbors to know I was just a lonely scientist - who worked all night; that I loved Louie too much, and that I could never part with him, nor could he ever part with me? What choice did I have but to bring Louie to work with me?
Louie is a most important cat; Louie reminds me of my childhood. He plays and rolls, hides under throw carpets, and chases spiders in the bathtub. He keeps my bed warm, and fights me for blanket.
More importantly, when I was lonely – because, one can not keep friends working all night - Louie would cheer me up, offering rub-rub and happy snarky eyes. He always had love to spare. Louie also reminded me of Mum and Papi’s back yard, where kindred cats would meet and frolic; chasing chirpy birds and fluttery butterflies. Louie inspired me to think young and fresh; thoughts that make me the person of science I am today. I still use my childish imagination. Mum and Papi would have been proud.
When I was very little, Papi told me that it was possible for all the air atoms in my bedroom to suddenly move to one corner. “Quantum probability:” he’d said. Nights I would huddle anxiously, checking to see if my atoms were still there – until Papi caught me shivering one night. He reassured me spontaneous hard vacuum might only occur once in a Universe’s lifetime. He’d said our Universe lived a long time and was very big, so spontaneous vacuum appearing in my particular bedroom was: “near statistically impossible, given, ‘natural probability.’”
But my imagination went beyond. I had asked Papi: “What if a scientist makes the atoms in my room move away while I’m asleep?”
Papi had laughed long and hard. Removing his white lab smock and loosing his button-tie, he’d said: “Child, there is no one living presently who could even conceive a remote device to accomplish that task, unless they live off this planet.”
“Like Mars?” I’d said.
Papi had laughed even harder: “I was thinking father out than that. But little one, I must say quantum probability means…well, anything can happen. Go to sleep and dream silly head.”
There are no cats on Mars yet, but if our new drive works, then perhaps soon. Currently, only what humans “need to survive” are put on spaceships. Not cats. Newton’s laws relate one must thrust heavy and expensive mass out the back of a spaceship to push forward. Thus, mass is collected from planet Earth or the Moon and put in tanks. Boring!
Scientists are jokesters. My Lab Partner was one. Aside our Probability Engine sat the VCB, or Vacuum Collection Box. My partner had labeled the VCB the Bohring Box – because: “A lot of particular nothing always happens inside.”
All Plank-Unit-Space (PUS) is filled with potential energy that may spontaneously manifest in four-dimensional space-time as either field or particle mass. Inside the vacuum box are coordinate areas where strong magnetic fields pulse in and out of phase, manipulating quantum-dimensional space-time probability. Concordantly, since all quantum energy is linked, we essentially steal variegated-potential-energy bound at the Big Bang Singularity from every PUS. Thus, when the VCB excites the smallest bubbles of space time, real reciprocal field energy and mass is created from the vacuum itself.
We were building upon Papi’s works during his days as a collage professor. We were making something out of nothing: free energy and antimatter.
However, results were unexpected. During one night test, instead of the expected hydrogen gas and antimatter residue, we found a black lump - that turned out to be organics: carbon, oxygen, and nitrogen.
“A probability quirk?” My smiling lab partner theorized.
We told no one - for fear of being shut down. We had to find out why?
The night of our proof, Louie disappeared.
My Lab Partner fell for Louie too, and set up a cat condo where Louie could watch us work. However, when we threw the switch he was gone. We could hear his howling, but could not find him. I was terrified!
Being always a curious cat, Louie ended up inside the VCB. When we powered down and opened the chamber, there he was, angry at being locked away. Next to him sat Munoc cat, though we had not named him yet.
During sunset coffee - before work - we laugh at the cats as they chase each other around the tiny apartment. My Lab Partner noted that two cats are double the trouble and maybe we should live together so we might care for them better. I agreed!
The cats are not twins exactly, they are slightly different, but they get along as all cats do - its fun watching them tussle and wrassle. We received a massive grant to explore quantum mass manifestation – based upon our furry friends, now the most loved cats on Earth.
 When we leave in the evening, Louie doesn’t howl anymore, but we have had a few complaints of loud laughing inside our apartment.
Silly Cats.

About the Author: 
Von is a part-time physicist and movie maker. He loves his cats Munoc and Louie who inspired a Bohr,Schrodinger,and Witten quantum cat's tail. ;)

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Quantum Theories

S is for ... Schrödinger’s Cat

A hypothetical experiment in which a cat kept in a closed box can be alive and dead at the same time – as long as nobody lifts the lid to take a look.

W is for ... Wave-particle duality

It is possible to describe an atom, an electron, or a photon as either a wave or a particle. In reality, they are both: a wave and a particle.

B is for ... Bell's Theorem

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L is for ... Light

We used to believe light was a wave, then we discovered it had the properties of a particle that we call a photon. Now we know it, like all elementary quantum objects, is both a wave and a particle!

Q is for ... Quantum biology

A new and growing field that explores whether many biological processes depend on uniquely quantum processes to work. Under particular scrutiny at the moment are photosynthesis, smell and the navigation of migratory birds.

N is for ... Nonlocality

When two quantum particles are entangled, it can also be said they are “nonlocal”: their physical proximity does not affect the way their quantum states are linked.

K is for ... Kaon

These are particles that carry a quantum property called strangeness. Some fundamental particles have the property known as charm!

R is for ... Randomness

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P is for ... Probability

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H is for ... Hawking Radiation

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U is for ... Universe

To many researchers, the universe behaves like a gigantic quantum computer that is busy processing all the information it contains.

A is for ... Alice and Bob

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B is for ... Bose-Einstein Condensate (BEC)

At extremely low temperatures, quantum rules mean that atoms can come together and behave as if they are one giant super-atom.

T is for ... Teleportation

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M is for ... Many Worlds Theory

Some researchers think the best way to explain the strange characteristics of the quantum world is to allow that each quantum event creates a new universe.

L is for ... Large Hadron Collider (LHC)

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E is for ... Entanglement

When two quantum objects interact, the information they contain becomes shared. This can result in a kind of link between them, where an action performed on one will affect the outcome of an action performed on the other. This “entanglement” applies even if the two particles are half a universe apart.

X is for ... X-ray

In 1923 Arthur Compton shone X-rays onto a block of graphite and found that they bounced off with their energy reduced exactly as would be expected if they were composed of particles colliding with electrons in the graphite. This was the first indication of radiation’s particle-like nature.

Z is for ... Zero-point energy

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M is for ... Multiverse

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G is for ... Gluon

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C is for ... Computing

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G is for ... Gravity

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A is for ... Atom

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Q is for ... Qubit

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D is for ... Dice

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A is for ... Act of observation

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W is for ... Wavefunction

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C is for ... Cryptography

People have been hiding information in messages for millennia, but the quantum world provides a whole new way to do it.

I is for ... Information

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R is for ... Reality

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T is for ... Tunnelling

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O is for ... Objective reality

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V is for ... Virtual particles

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S is for ... Schrödinger Equation

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I is for ... Interferometer

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R is for ... Radioactivity

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F is for ... Free Will

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Y is for ... Young's Double Slit Experiment

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H is for ... Hidden Variables

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U is for ... Uncertainty Principle

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J is for ... Josephson Junction

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S is for ... Superposition

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D is for ... Decoherence

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P is for ... Planck's Constant

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