Preggers in Time

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     I am a twenty-five year old female and have been with a man once in my life.  I was eighteen and the event was an utter disaster.  Neither of us knew what we were doing and I have not considered doing it again. 
     Before you laugh or cry for me, consider the fact I am a physicist much more interested in quantum entanglement than the bodily form.  Work keeps me from allowing my hormones free rein.  Sure, I sneak peeks at nice looking men as much as the next woman, but know I have no chance with them. I am homely with thin stringy hair, the result of faulty genetics and an idiopathic abdominal malady.  Being smart does not help.  Not only that, but excessive height is not attractive to the short men most likely to be found inhabiting the labs at Cal-Tech.
     Horatio Simplot, called “Ratio” by the few friends he actually had, was a world class nerd.  He lived, spoke and looked like one.  His head was smushed like it had been squeezed in a vice, his hair a funny pewter color and falling out even then.  My interest in him was odd, as I think back on it.  I was compelled to the experience the moment I first saw him.  It seemed a safe way to find out what it was all about.  In a way, I am grateful to him, though I might as well have been wallowing with a wombat.  After that, I gave up worrying about personal relationships and concentrated on new theories in quantum physics.  Entanglement and quantum teleportation had become all the rage, the new paradigm for those of us with brains.   
     I have one real friend, Janice Pratt.  We are similar in many ways, mostly of the asymmetric kind, with narrow faces and large noses.  We find solace in the fact that we don’t have to compete on the social scene for anyone’s attention.  We have been engrossed in a project designed to demonstrate how macro objects might be entangled and transported without using all of the energy in the universe. 
     We have a good working theory and were pondering it with several blackboards full of algebraic squiggles when Ratio appeared out of nowhere.  I hadn’t seen him in seven years, but was not surprised by his appearance.  He had not changed, still slipped around like an Indian in socks, making not a sound on the tile floor.  I’d always wondered about that.
     He stared at our blackboards, shaking his head here, nodding there.  Finally, he stood before me, pewter hairs slicked back, smushed head unchanged.  With a movement too casual to have been unplanned, he poked me in the belly with his index finger.  “Let me know when it arrives.”  I blinked and he was gone.
     “What was that?”
     I’d forgotten about Janice. 
     “I’m not sure.”  A cold sweat swept across my forehead.
     “Right.  That’s why you’re shivering?”
     “I may be sick.”   
     The dreams started that night.  Vivid, colorful, high definition and senseless.  Except for one.  I remember them all in the finest detail and knew from my mother’s own description they were typical pregnancy dreams.  Raging hormones battling for dominance were not without side effects.  This could not be happening.  But it was.  I was going to have a baby. 
     Three weeks later, wondering how to make contact with Ratio, I looked like a hippopotamus.  Sitting on the edge of my bed, I bent over as far as I could to relieve a cramp.
     “You’d better get here soon, you rat.  I need to go to the hospital.”
     “Let’s go then, my dear.”  Once again he appeared as if by magic, but I was in no mood to wonder about it.  Intense labor had come upon me as fast as the pregnancy itself.  I got up and fell toward the door holding onto his arm.  The next thing I knew, I was in a hospital bed with a small, beautifully pink child wrapped in swaddling, searching my breast with its nose.  Ratio stood smiling down at me.
     “I suppose you’d like an explanation?”
     “Ya think?”
     “Entanglement allows for much.  You’re about to make the greatest discovery of all time.  You’ve been entangled with me for seven years and the baby has been waiting.  I made the discovery long ago, on one of Earth’s early lunar colonies.  The day we fumbled our way to consummation was the day little “Ratio” was conceived.  He did not begin the enhanced growth cycle until I kick-started it.”
     “Lunar colonies?  We don’t have lunar colonies.  What is going on?  Who are you and why have you chosen to pick on me?”
     He sat down on the only chair in the room, pushed my medicine carriage with all its hooks, bags and tubes aside and let out a breath. 
     “Yes, it is time.  Indeed, that is exactly what it is.  Time.  Once a species discovers how to control entanglement and teleport throughout the universe, time becomes irrelevant.  It all happens much like the original inflationary process, instantaneously.  You only age if you remain in your place of birth, and if you keep moving you might live forever.  I could have taken you with me back then, but you needed to be at least twenty-five.  It is the ideal age.  I picked you because you were healthy, as homely as myself, and not likely to become entangled with any one else.  Sorry.
     I threw my food platter at him and was picking up a pink water pitcher when the nurse intervened.  He stood there, a wry smile on his face.
     “The child is the price you have paid for your soon-to-be universal fame.  In return, I receive genetic immortality.  Seems fair to me.”  
     I returned to the lab carrying little Ratio, handed him to Janice and started re-writing our equations.  Janice stared at them, wide eyed.
     “How … ?
     “Don’t ask.  The universe is an open book.  Where would you like to go?”           

About the Author: 
Gerald Lane Summers has authored two historically based action adventure novels set in the old west. He is a retired lawyer, juvenile court referee, writing teacher, and raconteur.

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Quantum Theories

F is for ... Free Will

Ideas at the heart of quantum theory, to do with randomness and the character of the molecules that make up the physical matter of our brains, lead some researchers to suggest humans can’t have free will.

H is for ... Hawking Radiation

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S is for ... Superposition

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T is for ... Teleportation

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L is for ... Large Hadron Collider (LHC)

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W is for ... Wave-particle duality

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H is for ... Hidden Variables

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C is for ... Computing

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R is for ... Randomness

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M is for ... Many Worlds Theory

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P is for ... Probability

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G is for ... Gravity

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T is for ... Tunnelling

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D is for ... Decoherence

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C is for ... Cryptography

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N is for ... Nonlocality

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M is for ... Multiverse

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B is for ... Bell's Theorem

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E is for ... Entanglement

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U is for ... Universe

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R is for ... Reality

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U is for ... Uncertainty Principle

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P is for ... Planck's Constant

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A is for ... Alice and Bob

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W is for ... Wavefunction

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I is for ... Information

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V is for ... Virtual particles

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O is for ... Objective reality

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D is for ... Dice

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Q is for ... Qubit

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S is for ... Schrödinger Equation

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J is for ... Josephson Junction

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Y is for ... Young's Double Slit Experiment

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A is for ... Act of observation

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S is for ... Schrödinger’s Cat

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R is for ... Radioactivity

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K is for ... Kaon

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G is for ... Gluon

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L is for ... Light

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Z is for ... Zero-point energy

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I is for ... Interferometer

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X is for ... X-ray

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